I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
