i think my mom watched the whole time
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize