Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize