Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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