Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You did what with his pubic hair?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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