my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
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We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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