You can't special order awesome
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
