So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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