But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
