It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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