Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
