just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Randomize
