he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
