Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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