It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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