The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
