i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
