dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.