Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize