just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
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I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳