I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
