im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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