xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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