Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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