i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
