the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He did a backflip because drugs
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
