Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She announced her abortion via fbk
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
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He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
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I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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