So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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