worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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