what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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