They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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