I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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