I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
