my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I pour the whiskey from now on
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
