I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
sex in a hospital.. check
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
