I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think people are normalizing furries
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize