Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
