; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
literally had 100 drinks last night.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
