Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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