I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
