so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
