bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
