She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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