My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
