Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
