she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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