Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
