Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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