Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
