So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just high enough for therapy.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
