i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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