Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
