I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
