i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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