i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
only you would photoshop your dick
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
