Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
