Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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