i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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