bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
