found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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